Weary Wings

A leisure conversation in coffee shop with my boss...

Hey, think you'll be out of here next year.
Eh???
Yap, was talking to the big boss, he said once somebody outside agree to take your position, than you'll be transfer out
....

Happy. Sad. Confuse. Don't know what to say. Don't know how to react.

It used to be ok with me. No no... it used to be fantastic. To move around places like nomad. 5 different location, 3 different country, 5 years of working. And hey, that used to be fun. Bags packed, ticket plane in hand, and off me go to see the world.

It used to mean excitement. Going to new places, meeting new people, getting to know new culture. It used to mean adventure! A new challenge! Something to give me the 'kick'!

Was... Used to...

Not anymore.

I don't know what it means to me now. After the conversation, panic feeling began to seep in me. My personal life is currently in so much mess and a move will definitely going to complicate more. I would prefer to stay put for a while and have my live sort out. But I'm afraid the opportunity will pass. God knows how my other colleagues will be happy to fill in my slot to go.

Something I realize while I writing this. I think my panic is driven by the fear of starting new live from scratch with not even one single familiar face to turn to. It didn't used to bother me much before. But now, I feel like I don't have the energy to do that again. Least not alone.

I'm tired of flying. The sky seems to lost it's magic. I just want to rest my weary wings. And settle down.