Back Again

Hi Baby,

So here I am, here again. Far away from you. Again.

Sorry if I seemed to rush trying to go boarding yesterday. It just felt like I couldn't contain the tears anymore. And your 'five more minutes please' make my eyes more watery. Of course I still cried like a fool in the gate, wetten your shirt (guess all those times, still didn't train me to reserve myself). There's too much pain in goodbye.

I went to autopilot after that. Block my feeling, refuse to let me sense anything. In those hours of travelling, I just give focus on one thing. Finishing my Grisham's "The Broker" book. I guess the book is not too bad, but to be honest, I couldn't really enjoy it. I just read it as flow of informations. Fact after fact leading to another fact. I didn't try to savour how the character buing built, tha flow of the story, the beauty of the words choice, or anything. It just a tool to occupy my mind. Distract me from the fact that I was flying, further and further away from you. Do you know that I manage to finish that fat book in less than six hours?

The first few days are always the hardest, hon. Especially at night since I couldn't find my escape in work which keep my mind away from you on day time. I miss having your warm body next to me. Your arms cradling me. I miss waking up in the morning with you. Your morning hugs with your morning breath. And yes, I even miss your farts.

Thank you for our wonderful two weeks together, darling. And also for the trip to meet your dad. Him and his wife and the two cats and the dog and the two horses, they are all just so wonderful. Make me feel welcome to your family. And make me feel more guilty that it couldn't be that way from my side.

I miss you so much already, baby. And it's only just one day passing by. My only consolation is that I don't have to wait that long to see you again. Two or three months might seems like ages to other couples, but comparing to our normal six months rotation, what a gift it is for us.

I love you.

B