Big Fat Liar

Well... I'm not that big. Not that fat. But I'm definitely a liar.

I really am not proud of that. So I tried to do 'the right thing' and told the truth. Hope for understanding. But I learn the hard way that truth is sometime to harsh to surface. To painful to handle. It maybe 'the right thing' but I think it's probably not 'the right time'. And I cowardly run back and hide behind my lie.

I don't know know anymore of right or wrong. I only know that I do what I believe is right for me and try with all my power to avoid any harm to the people that I love. And if by that means that I have to live a lie and commit a sin, than so be it.

But God, I'm scared. I keep thinking that my plane will crash or I have a car accident or other bad things while I'm away. And they will have to find out from strangers of my betrayal.

Please God, don't let them know about this. You can punish me in other ways (most of the time the very act of lying have pain me enough), but please, please, don't let them be hurt that way.

[People say they love truth, but in reality they want to believe that which they love is true. Robert J. Ringer]