Monday, October 17, 2005

It's Not You, It's Me

I hope I'm not a disappointment for you dad. It's not that I tried to be different than you, it just happen. I wish I can see the world from your eyes. But I can't. It's not because you and mum didn't teach me well. I know you guys have give me the best part of yourself to me. But my already contaminated brain and heart won't allow me to be what you want.

I hope I'm not a disappointment for you mum. Part of me want to be your little girl forever. Part of me want you to always taking care of me and I know how that bring you joy. But a bigger part of me needs to be free. A meaner part of me needs to be left alone and do whatever, whenever, and wherever. Even if it's against what you thought me.

I'm trying to be a good daughter and make you happy but I don't think I did a very good job on that. I am selfish enough not to want to sacrifice my personal life. I don't expect you to understand me. I just wish that you will never shut me off from your live. That someday, you'll have peace on the person I have become.

Please don't ever blame yourself. It's not you, mum. It's not you, dad. It's me.