Saturday, February 18, 2006

How It All Started

That Sunday she needed to go to the office. The work never seemed to end. But it’s okay tho, she didn’t mind. The extra works required was easily compensated with her love to the beautiful new city she just moved in. Civilization, that’s the key word. Shopping mall, pretty café lined up the street. It differed so much from her previously dessert-no-one-with-the-right-mind-will-want-to-go workplace.

The office was just across the street from her apartment. She was thinking, will not let herself work too much today. By lunch time, she was already crossing the street back to her place, planning to drop her computer before going out for lunch.

Than, the phone rung. Trouble on the field. The kind that she didn’t have the experience to handle before. She went back to the office and started to work again. Trying to avoid whatever damage may come with the little knowledge she had. She realized that she could have tens of thousands dollars lost if she didn’t succeed. She felt her stomach turning upside-down, her inside melting.

It was almost dark when she’s finally out from the office. Time surely flied fast when you were fire fighting. The job was already on the way by that time. There’s nothing more she could do except waiting for the phone call to let her know the outcome of the job. Her stomach made grumbling noises. She had not eaten the whole day. The appetite was not there but she knew she had to eat. She needed the energy.

The Japanese bistro was just next to her apartment. A cute little place with chairs line up outside so you could watched people walked by. She didn’t feel like sitting alone tho, depress in public. So she ordered the food to go and waited. The place was not busy yet. There’s only one guy sitting down, reading a novel, a glass of beer in the table. She recognized the company’s tag on his neck. Another looser that had to worked on the weekend, she thought. There’s something about the guy, but she couldn’t tell what.

The food arrived. Pretty food in plastic container. She paid the bill, said thanks to the waiter and started to walk out. And as if there’s an outside force she can't control (or maybe her depressed inner self), she stop at that guy table, look straight to his eyes and said something that she never ever do to any stranger before.

“Hi! Do you mind if I sit down and eat my dinner here?”

That night they talked for hours. She did not remember much of the topics. But she remembered thinking that she never felt more comfortable with someone that she just knew. No guided pretence to impress someone. Even the void (accompanied by beers and long island ice tea) was comfortable with no force feeling to fill in the gap.

He waited with her until the phone rang to tell that the job went ok. But she somehow knew, that night she got something more than a job done. She didn't know what it was at that time. She didn't know yet, that at that night, she found love.

It was all started with a HI to a complete stranger. Who would have thought we last for four years darling. I love you like I never love anyone else before. I want you in my live forever. Happy anniversary honeybum. (posted 1 day late :)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

From Him

Below is taken from his email. I know it won't win any writing award anywhere, but it surely win my heart. Bear in mind, this is coming from a guy who be the first to claim that he's not romantic, no-sugar-coating-straight-forward kind of guy, and think that Homer Simpson is the ideal role model.

You know there was something I wanted to tell you, something very simple. I was going to wait for the 17th but today as good a day as any :)

Its not entirely original but:

You could write your name in the sand and the waves could wash it away.
You could write your name in the sky with a plane, but the wind could blow it away.
You chose 4 years ago to write your name in my heart, where it shall stay forever.

I love you darling.

This kind of thing is what give me the strength to carry on through the rough patches ahead of us. Btw, 17th February is the day that we first met. But that's a whole other story to tell.

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

On Meditation (2)

Recap on my January habit, after 3 or 4 attempts of meditation, I decided that it's not meant for me. Least not now. I'm not proud of myself for not able to commit on the first thing I promise myself to do on 2006, but I'm honest enough to admit that and not make myself do something that doesn't really fit me.

I think I'm too edgy to have my butt not moving for 20 minutes or so. And I realize that every day, I have my own ritual where I am in peace with myself. It's in my first cup of coffee in the morning while gazing out from the office window. Slowly sipping the black liquid, feeling the bitter taste awaken my senses. It may not be the same as meditating, but it's close enough for me for now. Maybe later I can do the meditation. When I'm older... and wiser... and my butt can sit tight longer :)

So... 12 habits count: out 1, in 0, 11 more to go.

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Day After The Storm

It's like the day after the storm pass.

Have you been in a storm? When the rain pounding and the wind blew so hard you can feel the chill to your bone? When everything is so dark and the waters seem to have it's own soul destroying anything dare to stand in its way. And you wonder will it ever end. You're not sure if you can get out of it alive, unscanted.

It's like the day after the storm pass.

When you can feel the sun bathe you face. You take a deep breath taking in the smell of the earth being washed. You look out the window, knowing the harm is done. You can feel the sorrow inside, mourning for the lost. And yet you feel grateful for just being able to breath. You know the damage cannot be undone but you can always try to fix it.

Today, it feels like the day after the storm pass. There might be more storm to come. You never know. But you know, like this one too, it will pass. It will all pass.