Ant Marching

there's got to be more in live
than just being survive

there's got to be more in work
than meet the month end

days in, days out
and I am just another ant marching

God,
let there be more in live than this

Watch Out!!!

I scratch and I bite
I blow your body away like a kite

I punch and I kick
I stab your neck till you sick

I yell and I scream
I'm worst than any of your dream

Watch out people, stay away
For my self control has slip away
I blame it all to my hormone
That make me feel like a moron

And forgive me God, for all the people that I step over today... and the months before... and the months ahead...

Baby, Ain't No Such Thing As Free Lunch!

So in the spirit of the birth of my new baby weblog, I have been trying hard to figure out what's the best way to do this blogging thingy. I love my new baby dearly but for one small hiccups. I hate the ad banners on the top side tho I have to admit, it's still tolerable compare to those annoying pop-up ad.

Being me, I became obsessed with the quest of getting rid the ad. So I start searching other weblog provider that is kind enough to provide the tools AND the place to blog, without putting any kind of ad. I didn't really expect to succeed but, to my amazement, I did find one site that do just that. It even host your images for free. I was in a shock mode (mouth open wide) than happy mode (doing little rain dancing, huhahuha!) than confuse mode (hand scratching head). You see, I've been thought by past experience that something that are too good to be true just can not possibly be true. Like God just don't create Jessica Simpson with beautiful body and voice AND giving her Einstein's brain. That will just going to break the law of nature.

Now, I tried googling to find some reasonable explanation, but nothing really satisfied me. Until I stumble to this article. I guess there's no such thing as free lunch anymore. Not these days. So if that little ad banner is the one that 'feeding' my weblog, than so be it.

There Is A Reason, Right?

(+) Me just concerned whenever you are upset... no matter what the reason. There is a reason, right??
(-) ...

Don't you know, hon, that your question stopped me dead on my track for a moment. How many time have I silently ask that to myself. Do I have reasons for my depression? Is there a cause for my tantrum? Or maybe I'm just a spoiled little brat that so desperately need attention.

Than I took time to contemplate and to see my self objectively. Well... least as objective as one can do to one self. I try to be as honest as possible in admitting my flaws and meanwhile not being so hard on myself.

Well... Most of the time I do have reason for being upset. Some other time I have no clue what so ever what the hell am I upset about. The one that I know the reason, some are silly and insignificant after I think about it for some time. But others are valid. The one that are valid for me, some may not be valid for you. For those that valid for both of us, some I just don't know how to speak it up.

On second thought, self contemplation is crap and I think I'm just babbling to myself :)

The Night My Sanity Flew Out The Window

This has been one of the night. When my Sanity slipped out of my control and flew out the window. I can see It now, sitting in the tree by the window. Looking at me. Mocking at my despair.

So what a girl have to do in situation like this. I can't just sit here, hopeless. I have to make myself look busy. That maybe, just maybe, It get bored for loosing my attention and will fly back.

Hey, I can pretend to make the so called Weblog that seems to be so popular to so many (in)sane people out there. What a brilliant idea!

For sure it will poke It's curiosity and It just have to come back to check on what I'm doing. Than when It's too engross in reading my brilliant thought, I will grasp It's tail and clap It's wings. I will open my mouth widely, never mind the yelling and the struggling, and than swallow It with one big gulp. I won't open my mouth again in case It will try to escape again. By than I won't have the need to use my mouth anyway because I will have my Weblog to say my thought.

Hey, don't blame me if it doesn't make any sense. Afterall, I am the girl that lost her Sanity.